Operation Dessert Storm - Whalers With a Side of Pie & A Slice of Berke Breathed
#FreePaulWatson
There are a lot of reasons Captain Paul Watson has been featured on Skaana more times than any other guest. He’s always at the centre of the storm. He’s also really funny…
Although Paul proudly espouses “aggressive non-violence” - and you can hear all about that in the interviews I’m sharing below - he once fought whalers by throwing pies at them. Sort of.
I always wanted to be part of one of Paul Watson’s whale rescue operations. This is as close as I’ve come. So far.
Years ago I saw a news story about one of his Sea Shepherd ships — “Whales Forever” - using a unique weapon to stop whalers.
We all know real pirates used cannons and cutlasses. And according to US prosecutors Paul Watson hasn’t just flown the Jolly Roger flag, he is officially a pirate. But his operations have traditionally been run by pacifist, vegan, eco-pirates, so they came up with something a little different to shoot from their cannons…
Pie filling!
I still think this is one of the most awesome things I’ve ever heard and I wrote a poem about it that was published in the Sea Shepherd magazine and illustrated by one of Paul’s most famous fans - one of my heroes - Bloom County cartoonist Berkeley Breathed.
Breathed created an original image of his most famous creation, Opus the penguin hurling a pie. And this was an image drawn when Bloom County was on what appeared to be permanent hiatus. The poem was named after World War Three - I mean the invasion of Iraq by 42 countries - 1990’s Operation Desert Storm.
Operation Dessert Storm
The ship Whales Forever set sail to Norway To stop the whalers and their harpoons And they'd set up a brand new weapon To challenge their foes at high noon Yes, the ship was equipped with a cannon And the cannon packed quite a surprise Because instead of shooting out cannon balls -- It fired banana cream pies One Sunday they spotted a whaler He was hollering to throw out the net And the captain yelled “fire” -- and the whaler was hit With a shot he would never forget Yes, his face was covered with custard And a layer of bananas and cream And the whalers yelled “foul” And the Norwegian sailors scowled As the whale swam away down a stream The next day the news hit the papers And soon it was on CNN This new weapon was surely a danger And should never be unleashed again The United Nations was outraged This new weapon had to be stopped Attacking whalers with pies was improper Even if there were cherries on top Then the scientists met with the bakers And soon the menace had spread Countries had stopped making missiles And were whipping up pie crust instead A Pentagon meeting confirmed it The pie race had got out of hand The Koreans were fiddling with fillings The Arabs had pies made of sand Japanese pies were smaller and faster Russian pies could get by radar unseen And satellite photos seemed to confirm The Italians were using ice cream The Germans had layers of dark chocolate The French had perfected meringue And those sneaky Australians went and invented A triple-layer banana boomerang So the President called for a total ban On all unlicensed pies And protesters marched in Washington Waving their protest signs You'll pry this pie from my cold dead hands And the crowd continued their cries "When all cream pies are outlawed only outlaws will have cream pies" But Whales Forever kept up their patrols Guarding the whales in the seas Attacking Norwegians with fresh banana cream And aiming fudge at the Japanese The whalers complained that these attacks Were cruel and impossibly tricky Because each time they tried to kill a new whale They found that their faces were sticky Then the whalers stole the pie cannons In a move so incredibly yellow So Whales Forever launched their ultimate weapon A missile filled with raspberry Jell-o And now the whales are safe at last Their extinction has been averted Because all the whalers on the world's high seas Have been covered with pies -- and desserted. And here's me performing this poem on Spotify...
The latest from Neptune’s Navy
Paul’s second hearing in Nuuk, Greenland was held this week. He's now been detained and kept from his wife and children for 46 days.
The prosecution was able to show a video from the Japanese side.
The evidence which would exonerate Watson was not allowed to be presented in court.
Paul will be detained until October 2nd when a third hearing will take place.
The Defense lodged an appeal.
We must keep the pressure on!
hold rallies at your local Danish Embassy
wear a CPWF “Arrest Me” shirt,
spread the word, and continue to contact Denmark’s Justice Minister Peter Hummelgaard Phone: +45 7226 8400, Email: jm@jm.dk
You can listen to our latest interview with Captain Paul Watson here.
For more on Captain Paul Watson here’s the conversation we had in 2018 when the two of us were presenting our documentaries at the Friday Harbor Film Festival.
And our two-part interview in 2021 when we talked about Seaspiracy, aggressive non-violence and so much more.